k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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