im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
