Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize