ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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