I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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