Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
