i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
