I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This baby is an asshole
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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