so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
