marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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