I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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