she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
