How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
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he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
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Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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