he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
