I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
