his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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