I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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