you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
