the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
