Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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