My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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