If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
