Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
