im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
