Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
