Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
