I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
