He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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