he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
