Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
