fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
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yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
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I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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