NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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