how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize