So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
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