he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
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Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
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I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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