her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Drunk is not a location!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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