I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
