Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
