I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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