my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize