so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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