i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
