I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
