6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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