My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
