Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
