Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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