New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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