Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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