haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
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So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
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I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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