I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
