I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
if only i could text you this smell
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
