I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Randomize
