I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
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