Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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