My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize