dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
