Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
